It’s not surprising that termination problems are among the most disturbing hurdles to many people. I know, it’s of no consolation at first, but it’s important to understand that termination fears, while understandable, are really irrational. They are almost all expectant fears (after all, you’ve already been fired) and are actually fairly simple to overcome.
In the more than two decades I’ve been involved in hundreds of termination negotiations, some quite acrimonious and a few of which ended up in litigation. Yet, in all that time I have never seen a legitimate initial severance offer taken off the table after an effort was made to negotiate it upward. And I have never heard of a company giving a negative reference to someone who was fired without cause. In fact, I’ve never even heard of someone who was fired for cause actually being given a “bad” reference.
Having had the ground cut out from under them, few people realize just how powerful they are in a termination scenario. Think about it for a minute. What is an employer’s leverage over an employee? His job. Once an employer fires you, there’s literally nothing more he can do to you. He is now powerless over you. It’s you who now has all the leverage. It is in your power, not the employer’s, to make the process quick and clean, or long and dirty. You hold all the best cards, albeit in a losing game. Recognize that, and you’ll be able to play your hand for all it’s worth.
What if they give you a bad reference?
This is only a presenting problem if you’re feeling guilt over having done such a bad job that you deserved to be fired, or if you really are in an industry¡ªsuch as day care¡ªin which positive references are essential. In the latter case your problem really is “what if they don’t give me positive reference.” In every other situation this is an actual, if irrational, problem.
Companies today are so worried about possible litigation that they generally refuse to give any reference, other than stating that someone indeed worked for the company for a stated period of time. That goes even for people who were fired for cause. Some organizations may provide additional details, such as job titles, but few, if any, will offer any subjective comments.
The only real expertise you need in this case is the knowledge that a negative reference is very unlikely, and that severance packages are negotiable, giving you an opportunity to ask for a positive reference as part of your package.
While the trust you generated on the job wasn’t sufficient to keep you from being terminated, reinforcing it with a personal meeting and conversation might be enough to insure that your superior will be willing to write and sign a positive reference letter.
Generally, requests for a positive reference are turned down for reasons of company policy. The best way to turn that no around is to ask your superior to instead write a personal letter of reference, as a favor from one friend to another.